Ode to Toilette (Yunnan versions)

Apologies, this isn't the prettiest blog post about...


I’m obviously not the first to discuss the ‘Water Closets’ of China but I am willing to contribute to the discussion of our 'au natural' necessary habits whilst in Yunnan, China.


Doorless, dire, disgusting, drain-like, deathly, distressing, an absolute loss of sense of dignity.


Gosh, did I witness some ugly things. And the need to pay to use these ugly public things (ok, a sheer maximum of 2RMB) without toilet paper. The limited advantages :) of these toilets, to me, is that they are squat toilets *thumbs up*, negated bad smells (perhaps because we were in Yunnan, i.e. cool weather) and are extremely simple (tiled/drain-like). With those negative attributes depicted above, this means you’d deem to spend less time in a toilet; a speedy and quick dash is the ultimate necessary.




a selection of Yunnan China's WCs
(WC = about the most popular English phrase the Chinese know of)

I don't know how many of these public WCs I witnessed, but I definitely christened a fair few. It was always an interesting and prepared surprise before accessing..not knowing what to expect or what you'd feast your eyes upon. On a slight plus side, for some reason, using these very communal toilets felt safe and I felt the ladies convened a mutual respect and privacy for one another - thus appreciating how male urinals work. However, on the flip side..Are people just too selfish to flush? Lack of water? Well, you've got to do what you've got to do.

Yep. I managed to take a few photos of Yunnan China’s FEMALE public toilets. A varying bunch - some everso slightly above average, some really not so clean. Having said that, I've missed a batch of gooduns to take - purely missed because they were clearly too dirty and scrappy for me to capture.. OR the main reason, for fear of seeming like a filthy perve in those exposed communal toilets!

I apologise if you find this quite filthy, but it’s the real deal over yonder (believe me, this is nothing)...






On par with Indian toilets.. I choose nature over public toilet anytime, or not...

Lost in Interrogation

While police checks are made everywhere across the world for various reasons, travelling from the Laos border into and onto the China border, these long night buses involved a very heavy amount of stopping to question passengers and to very thoroughly check all forms of luggage/packages (particularly boxed food items - where police would need to re-package each box. That's a lot of work). Heavy, heavy checking!

The bus stops. The police jump on in serious, demanding and over-confident manner, checks each passenger’s identification and from what I could understand a pile of high and mighty questions, i.e. interrogation. “Where are you from?”, “Why are you going there?”, “What do you do?”, “How long will you be there for?”…This is a jist of what I could understand. Responses are to be immediate, short and honest. I’d usually present my passport and not wanting to show embarrassment and damage their senior ego, they would hover on past and neglect any form of interrogation/spoken interaction with the “foreigner”.


..an awkward moment
Only once did a policeman carry out his duty and question me “Where are you going?”. That’s about all I could understand. My response was a quiet and a half-asleep “Kunming”, of which he then went on to ask another question which to me, sounded the same as the first question… “Kunming”, be my next repeated answer; this time with certainty engulfed in my response. This rhythmic questioning and answering repeated a couple more confusing times. His expression and tone daren’t change but I could feel his embarrassment and in the corner of my eye witnessed other passengers getting a laugh out of this mini entertainment; smirking and giggling at our lost in translation “serious” communication. As I unleashed a smirk and muttered “err..Kunming, Kunming, huh?”, he confidently and sharply gave up and turned his head onto the next passenger. Umm. Awkward. Haha. Sorry, dear.



rest stop?
Anyhow, this long overnight bus journey turned out to be extra long as it turns out that all buses heading to Kunming stopped at a bus station (or so I’d like to think it was a bus station) for at least three hours at early hours of the morning (perhaps, 2am) and we’d sleep on this motionless bus in darkness. I couldn’t tell you why. Not only was it strange, it felt eerie & dreamy since it wasn’t exactly warm, but in contrast, its surreal-ness was kinda cool. I tried my best to count the number of buses waiting but my sleepiness allowed me to give up. Let’s say around 25 buses were waiting. Odd!

an Old and Salty Yunnan town

Indeed, I tend to overwrite about small places. It’s the small places which are often packed with compelling attitude, character and charisma. On the other hand, whilst writing this I’m on an 8-hour airplane journey across Asia…t’is (the main) no wonder.


It was a treasure to find myself in this small village and boy, was I even more gold-rushed to be one of the only few tourists and supposedly the only foreigner (or so it seemed) in town - or in-the-village, for that matter.

This spontaneous decision of the morning led me to 'egg-on' my new dormitory-adopted little Chinese brother: Hunran (English name: Roy, who was a native Chinese speaker, er…'hello?! ni hao!' → Halleluiah! Help is at hand!) to travel with me from the commercialised zone of old town Dali – 160 curvy kilometers to the beautiful traditional and ancient salt well town - “Old and Salty”. I had been recommended to visit this rarely known spot by a fellow friend whose opinions I trust fairly well...cheers m’dear!

Prior to this little escape from an escape, I must admit, - that what I had seen so far of China (ok, so only Kunming and Dali) had - to put it bluntly - disappointed me. My expectations were far from reached as I’d only heard sheer positive attributes about Yunnan from other travel buddies and I just hadn’t found those attributes just yet. Perhaps I was frustrated by language difficulties, missing S.E Asian humidity, general well-being…I don’t know; a combination of factors.



le journey

The journey to “Old and Salty” was not as easy as pie, as moving from ancient Dali old town full stop is not an easy maneuver in itself. So eventually having reached the 'correct' bus station of Dali’s Xiaguan, we found a 'correct' bus stopping in its main town “Yunlong”.

Finally arriving at Yunlong bus station, I was instantly impressed. Was it the weather? Maybe; but that goes with most of Yunnan, right? ..for Yunnan cleverly boasts a wonderful climate all year round; much akin to an ‘Indian Summer’. Slowly weaving in, I managed to resolve my puzzled feelings and decided it was purely the size of Yunlong that I appreciated. Previous Chinese cities had been far too big for my liking – I know it’s China, but hey… essentially I’m not motivated by 'large, large' towns. With other compliments, it was the local smiles and helpfulness we were introduced to on arrival and possibly what may have furtherly promoted my likeness was the inexpensive journey from Yunlong to the actual “Old and Salty town” by Chinese rickshaw. I was ready for more cheapness and prettiness. Good energies were emerging...







About "Old and Salty"

“Old and Salty” is a small Bai ethnic village based in the northwest mountainous region of Yunnan. "Old and Salty" is not actually called “Old and Salty”, of course (m’personal nickname), however it is old and is famous in Yunnan for its salt (salt wells). Yep, it’s a historic village built on a mountain, which has retained its traditions through various of the Chinese dynasties and boasts stunning Taoist architecture influenced by the Ming and Qing dynasties, thus perhaps dating back to 1,000 years of age. What an old cherished and preserved beaut, and what an old cherished and preserved beaut we had witnessed.




HAM

The town’s famous ham – Chinese bacon or prosciutto equivalents have richly evolved from “old and salty’s” salt industry. This booming industry for this small town had developed during the Han dynasty. Smoked and smartly processed in this village, it was a remarkable dish to delve into. My personal favourite being the ham burnt in the smokey fire...oil galore! (bottom right photo).







Mr Huang (fellow yellow Wong)

Woah. It was an awe-inspiring find to find myself getting lost through the confused passages of this teeny town. Its subtle but contrasting loud architecture getting the best of me, its nibbled Chinese patterns which failed to bore me, its eloquence, history and fine detail that so neatly fit in these fresh mountains. Getting a little lost with some tourist signs, I found myself nosily stumbling into Mr Huang’s home. As my curious and lost walk entered, Mr Huang’s peaceful stance shot up with a smile on his face of which he then threw out a bunch of Mandarin phrases at me which I could only reply with “ting bui dou! Wo si ying kwok run” (totally wrong Ping Yin, I know – I don’t care! - 'I don’t understand, I’m from England', basically). With bad communication in tact, I managed to understand that Mr Huang wanted to charge me 5RMB to enter his “MUSEUM-home”.

Following my payment, my fellow Huang ('Wong' in Mandarin) proudly presented to me his artefacts housed in glass boxes on plinths protected by his black and dusty rags, paintings, calligraphy, etched stamps passed down from generation to generation of Huangs. Magnificent detail, Mr Huang decided to give me a one-to-one tour around his museum/home.

I enjoyed the fact he became oblivious to our language barriers; my 0.01% understanding of Mandarin explanations did not bother him in the slightest. I became mesmerized as I witnessed this man’s initial peace crescendo into a clear energetic passion of presentation towards his rich history. His Mandarin tour was clear, so clear that I understood none of it! No way did I want to disturb his vivid persona. He presented upon me papers and papers - his guestbooks; pinpointing the English entries only of course – which were fetched from a few zones of the world and dating back more than 8 years ago. He was a proud man and I was proud for Huang man of “Old and Salty”, not only because he is a fellow Wong, of course.








Natural Balance

Nearby to “Old and Salty” is a semi-famous picture-perfect 'Ying Yang' symbol ‘naturally’ etched below some green mountains which I’d visited with a pair of fun, optimistic and hilarious Guangdong mothers, a smart and open-minded young Wuhan lady named “Seven”, my smart gentlemanly and ‘hot-on-Chinese-politics’ little brother- Roy/Hunran. Oh, and how dare I not forget, and forget to appreciate - our patient and sweet 32 year old driver named Mr CHOW! This became an ongoing joke, as “Chow” or perhaps how I’d pronounced it translated to a foul Mandarin Chinese word – essentially meaning the “F” word. Essentially, these people became part of my little family in the village. I love and miss them all very much - a family of good natured hearts! This naturally balanced Ying Yang symbol has become quite popular with people who know of it…er, naturally.

We celebrated our little adventure by finalising it with a shared and precious goat hot pot and a strange concoction of herbs which tickled my tastebuds (very weird feeling) and the famous salty ham which dehydrated me so much that this had to go hand in hand with a crisp and light Dali beer. Yum.







Continuous Praise

Old and salty; Nuodeng; so I’ve finally revealed, is a beaut, and houses many-a-many elderly Bai people who are greatly genuine, manage to infect others with smiles and are the utmost friendly. How else may I compliment these folk? They are simple and unnerved.

Surrounded by clean air, smell of burning wood, nature and hens screeching early in the morning. I loved, and still do adore this place, as not only does it boast peacefulness, tranquility and tradition..It allowed me to preciously gaze at neighbouring mountains whilst toileting in a mud-hole honed by what seemed like a wooden rickety stable next to two hungry horses housed in a follow up of this wooden rickety stable; A toilet where I’d also witnessed a rat the size of a freakin’ CAT! *Shoo, bloody shoo!*

Praised photos below. It's tough selecting 3 or 4, hence the overload...





*Dorm beds* a cold night in store...




*Shared moments* I also met some seriously NICE open-minded Chinese folk; locals and fellow travellers from different provinces of the country who would sit down, share, eat, drink and cheer together. Their generosity, talks and friendship I will cherish for a long while. Xie xie, my buddies..I really hope to meet you again on this planet in the near future..




Please don't turn into a Lijiang or Dali. Remain preserved and natural, "Old and Salty"! xxx
Visited April 2013.