H'mong Robots

I hear scurrying footsteps from behind and then I hear a high pitched..

"Buy from me, buy from me", "Hello, where you from?", "You go to village?", "Buy from me", "Buy from me later ok?", "Where you from?", "You promised", "Why you don't buy from me", "You stay here long time and no buy from me", "I from village", "Buy from me", "You buy from me ok", "Visit my village?", "You cheeky monkey", "Where you from?", "You lazy", "Buy from me later", "You always change mind", "Hello, Buy from me ok"..





These phrases are hardly voiced by one, but a multitude of all girls of various ages, all of the same short height and all plunged with their textiled goodies. A majority of these girls/women have cute and soft squeaky voices much akin to a stoned teletubby - can you imagine!



.Who?

Of all the hill tribes here in Sapa, Vietnam, the Red D'zao come close but the Black H'mong are by far the most diligent when it comes to selling techniques. Not only are they pushy, sweet, guilt-tripping and whiney..they are pretty good when it comes to conversing the English language in 'selling' context. A number of them have got to grips with the English slang. Clever girls, eh? They mean business - in a 'cheeky-as-can-be' and smiley manner. Depending on my mood, my feelings are mixed towards their aggressively sweet selling approach. They can often come across, to be pretty frank, annoying (and frustrating), but mostly I find them humourous, playful and endearing.



The women of these hill tribes are the breadwinners of the family; selling their hand crafted or (on some occasions) Chinese imported goods, whilst the men...well, they work hard too - are in the fields growing the rice or looking after the kids.



>Techniques

There are certain territorial areas that lay within this small town - outside certain hotels, restaurants, buses, shops, markets. I'm a tad gobsmacked as to how I have not yet witnessed any territorial arguments yet. I live with the fact that it may be due to their gentle natures and their village living, but who knows what goes on behind the tourist scenes. (Note: I have noticed that the Black H'mong roam the streets during the day, whilst the Red D'zao arise during the night. This may be due to the fact that tourists are trekking during the day and return to SaPa town later).

The Black H'mong peak time seems to be at around 8-10AM, where herds of them will latch onto any tourist-looky-likey and follow, follow, follow - yelping "Come to my village for eat something". They don't have a yellow brick road like Dorothy, but they have a tourist-game plan road that tends to lead to their peaceful villages a few kilometres out, namely: Lao Chai, Tavan, Hau Thao and Cat Cat (all very picturesque).


Draped in their items for-sale and their baskets brimming with delightful embroidered textiles, they moan about how they haven't sold anything for the day...I feel terrible. But, I can't buy from y'all!



.Robot(s)

Anyhow, the point of this post lays with one particular lady who I encountered from my very first days back in SaPa - which now seem a lifetime away, especially due to the stark contrast of weather climate!

It was an extremely cold and dark evening in February and whilst walking back to my guesthouse room hoping for warmth (slim chance, as rooms cannot cope with cold here! see other posts) with a stomach heavily loaded with rich Vietnamese food, I'm followed by a very elderly Black H'mong lady - who, of course, wishes to sell her Black H'mong products. She yelps and chunders a "Buy from me, buy from me...". She's completely jaded by my rejection and continues pestering. My strides become larger and speed becomes faster - as does her's! She's completely oblivious to anything now. She's repeatedly projecting a "Buy from me, buy from me" - it's totally unconscious. Without moving her eyes, she pelts her hand into her bag and reaches out for more products, holds out her hand and continues with a,"Buy from me, buy from me".... repeatedly. And it's here I realise how drained these women are in their selling power.. "Buy from me buy from me". This poor elderly lady must be cold and tired, no? Her mind is now so unaware that she is trying to sell. "Buy from me, buy from me". Selling has overpowered her and now she is quite literally...a H'mong Robot! BLESS. I'd hoped she'd warmed up and got to bed safely that evening. I see her every so often, as do I see dozens of other familiar Black H'mong girls every so often. 99% of them carry the same robot attitude. Ha!


8 weeks on, fully recognised by the H'mong hill tribes in this tourist town, made some H'mong pals, beam ourselves with banter, bought a tonnage of stuff...but still continued to be pestered by the zombies. I call this great stamina!


>It's been fun. Let the fun roll on.